Women Don’t Ask | Encouraging Women to Speak Up During the Estate Planning Process

Author: Stacy Hanley


Most women that I know both personally and professionally are reluctant to ask for what they want directly. This behavior can lead to major problems down the road, especially during the financial and estate planning processes.


In my years of experience and through my own research about this tendency, I’ve found that this timidity is actually due to societal conditioning. 


Gender-based social standards require women to behave modestly and unselfishly, avoiding the promotion of their own self-interest. 


Women see being demanding or asking for what they want and need as masculine behavior. We are taught to be kind, compassionate, considerate, and generous far more than we are taught to be assertive or confident. We are taught to watch, wait, and accept whatever comes our way. In most cases, this leads to women leaving the asking to men. 


Until quite recently, women were taught that they needed to wait for men to ask them on a date, and eventually to marry them. 


Some of you may remember the self-help book, “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. The book suggests rules that a woman should follow in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams. For example, the book states that a woman should be “easy to be with, but hard to get.”  In other words, don’t ask for what you want and don’t be demanding.


The problem is that when women don’t ask, they don’t receive. So many women who find themselves widowed or divorced later in life realize that they are not as well taken care of as they need to be.


This topic is one of the primary reasons I started my new book club exclusively for women, “A Woman’s Worth: Empowering Women One Book at a Time.” In this group, we read books that encourage women to take the driver’s seat to their futures by speaking up and actively participating in important conversations.

To learn more and join the group, click here.


Estate Planning with Lefkoff-Duncan


If you’re ready to take the driver’s seat to your future, Lefkoff-Duncan is here to help. Our experienced team will assist you in all of your estate planning endeavors so that you’ll never again need to wonder if you’ve done enough to take care of the ones you love. Give us a call at your convenience at 404-262-2000 to get started.